WE wanted roast beef and what did we get? Bratwurst, with Black Forest Gateau for dessert.
Call me old-fashioned but isn’t international football supposed to be about one nation taking on another, with the players enjoying the ultimate honour of performing for their country?
I know the lines have got blurred over the years — under Jack Charlton you were Irish if you liked a drop of Guinness.
But Thomas Tuchel’s appointment does really emphasise one glaring statistic… where have all the English managers gone?
And while every major nation in Europe has enjoyed some sort of tangible success and even some not-so-major ones such as Denmark and Greece, we continue to look back to 1966 when an English manager last led an English men’s team to a trophy.
That’s a bloody long time ago.
I know we have had foreign-born managers of the England team before — Sven-Goran Eriksson and Fabio Capello — but they weren’t exactly a rip-roaring success.
And now we have a German in charge, who won the Champions League with Chelsea and by any measure is a fantastic manager.
We must compromise on romantic notions of an Englishman in charge of an English team.
As a result, we have a German bossing the men’s team and Dutch coach Sarina Wiegman holding court for the women’s squad.
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Whilst they are both fantastic managers, we really should be looking at ourselves and wondering how this has happened?
Why can’t we find good England coaches to manage our English teams — and what are we going to do about it?
THOMAS TUCHEL
Augsburg II 2007-2008
P34 W 20 D8 L6 Win percentage: 58.82%
Mainz 05 2009-2014
P184 W72 D46 L66 Win percentage: 39.13%
Borussia Dortmund 2015-2017
P107 W67 D23 L17 Win percentage: 62.62%
Honours: DFB Pokal
Paris Saint Germain 2018-2020
P127 W95 D13 L16 Win percentage: 74.8%
Honours: Ligue 1 X2, Coupe de France, Coupe de la Ligue, Trophee des Champions x2
Chelsea 2021-2022
P100 W60 D24 L16 Win percentage: 60%
Honours: Champions League, Super Cup, Club World Cup
Bayern Munich 2023-2024
P61 W37 D8 L16 Win percentage: 60.66%
Honours: Bundesliga
GARETH SOUTHGATE
Middlesbrough 2006-2009
P151 W54 D43 Win percentage: 35.76%
England U21 2013-2016
P37 W27 D5 L5 Win percentage: 72.97%
Honours: Toulon tournament
England 2016-2024
P102 W61 D24 L17 Win percentage: 59.8%
Honours: Euros runners up, 2020, 2024
Answers please from the FA.
Can you imagine what the boys of ’66 would have made of the England side being run by a German?
Sir Alf would have been apoplectic. That glorious Wembley day was only two decades after Ramsey’s East End of London had been flattened by the Luftwaffe.
But as I said that’s a bloody long time ago, and these days managing England is the so-called ‘impossible job’.
Some will accuse the FA of having compromised in order to win by appointing a foreign manager.
But I have sympathy for them as the last English-born manager to win the top flight was Howard Wilkinson, back when it was just the plain old First Division.
We have five English-born managers currently operating in the Premier League although two of them, Russell Martin and Kieran McKenna, played at international levels for Scotland and Northern Ireland respectively.
It suggests the nursery is thin on the ground.
But club football is one thing, the national team is another.
And as I’m a romantic at heart, I would much prefer to see our Three Lions led by a lion.
But what are the FA meant to do when the pickings are slimmer than our goal tally in a penalty shootout.
Tuchel has won some great trophies at a variety of clubs but so had Sven and so had Capello.
The latter was a disaster who couldn’t even be bothered to learn English and enjoyed little or no connection with his players, while Sven did passably, reaching a succession of quarter-finals.
I suppose we can console ourselves with the fact that Gareth Southgate showed it can be done and although he didn’t lead us to any silverware, at least he got damned close.
I wish Tuchel the very best of luck, as every Englishman’s footballing hopes and dreams are on his shoulders, and at some point he will feel the weight of that pressure.
He has had four managerial jobs in the last seven years and an England contract which is only 18 months suggests this is not one for the long-term.
THE FA’s path to securing Thomas Tuchel's signature was not a straightforward one.
They tried to lure Pep Guardiola from Manchester City over the summer.
They even made contact with Real Madrid boss Carlo Ancelotti after deciding to target trophy-laden foreign gaffers.
The FA’s determination to go international was summed up by their decision NOT to interview Newcastle boss Eddie Howe.
Initial talks with Tuchel saw him express a slight interest in replacing Gareth Southgate.
But he was waiting to see what would happen at Manchester United, with Erik ten Hag’s future under the spotlight.
Man Utd owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe eventually decided to stick with Ten Hag – and that opened the door to the FA getting their man.
Read the full story on England’s thrilling pursuit of Thomas Tuchel.
SIMON Cowell revealed when he last met with Liam Payne in his emotional statement this evening.
Music mogul Simon, 65, who managed One Direction before their solo ventures, paid tribute to the late singer with an Instagram post following his tragic death.
It was confirmed on Wednesday evening Liam passed away after falling from his hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Simon – who first met Liam when he was 14 – has shared a touching essay to his grid page on the platform today.
It read: “You never really know how you feel about someone until a moment like this happens.
“Liam I am devastated. Heartbroken. And I feel empty. And I want you to know how much love and respect I have for you. Every tear I have shed is a memory of you.
“This is so difficult to put into words right now.
“I went outside today, and I thought about so many times we had together.
“I wanted to let you know what I would always say to the thousands of people who would always ask me. What is Liam like? And I would tell them you were kind, funny, sweet, thoughtful, talented, humble, focused.”
“And how much love you genuinely had for the fans.”
“I had to tell you when you were 14 that this wasn’t your time. And we both made a promise that we would meet again.
“A lot of people would have given up. You didn’t. You came back and within months the whole world know Liam.
“And you never forgot the fans. I watched you spending so much time with people who had wanted to meet you. You really cared.
“You came to see me last year. Not for a meeting. Just to sit and talk. And we reminisced about all of the fun times we had together.
“And how proud you were to be a Dad. After you left, I was reminded that you were still the sweet, kind boy I had met all of those years ago.”
The former Syco boss also opened up on the bond he shared with Liam’s seven-year-old son, Bear.
“I have met your son, Bear. He has your smile and that twinkle in his eye that you have,” he wrote.
You never really know how you feel about someone until a moment like this happens.
Liam I am devastated. Heartbroken. And I feel empty. And I want you to know how much love and respect I have for you. Every tear I have shed is a memory of you.
This is so difficult to put into words right now. I went outside today, and I thought about so many times we had together. I wanted to let you know what I would always say to the thousands of people who would always ask me. What is Liam like? And I would tell them you were kind, funny, sweet, thoughtful, talented, humble, focused. And how much love you genuinely had for the fans.
I had to tell you when you were 14 that this wasn’t your time. And we both made a promise that we would meet again. A lot of people would have given up. You didn’t. You came back and within months the whole world know Liam. And you never forgot the fans. I watched you spending so much time with people who had wanted to meet you. You really cared.
You came to see me last year. Not for a meeting. Just to sit and talk. And we reminisced about all of the fun times we had together. And how proud you were to be a Dad. After you left, I was reminded that you were still the sweet, kind boy I had met all of those years ago.
I have met your son, Bear. He has your smile and that twinkle in his eye that you have. And he will be so proud of everything you achieved. And how you achieved it.
I always thought the 5 of you in the band as brothers. And regarding their messages today I believe you were.
And now Liam, I can see the effect you had on so many people. Because you left us too soon.
Rest in peace my friend. And I am sending my love, thoughts and prayers to your family.
Simon X.
“And he will be so proud of everything you achieved. And how you achieved it.”
In his third slide, Simon added: “I always thought the 5 of you in the band as brothers. And regarding their messages today I believe you were.
“And now Liam, I can see the effect you had on so many people. Because you left us too soon.”
He added: “Rest in peace my friend. And I am sending my love, thoughts and prayers to your family. Simon X.”
Liam I am devastated. Heartbroken. And I feel empty. And I want you to know how much love and respect I have for you
Simon Cowell
Liam first audition for Simon’s X Factor in 2008 but was unsuccessful. However he returned in 2010 and was put into One Direction alongside Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson.
After working alongside the boys for their massive international success, Simon once confessed he was “annoyed” when Liam chose another label for his solo career.
He told The Sun: “It is a bit annoying if I am honest with you – mainly because it is a another label who has now got your artist who you worked with for so many years.
“We had spoken a lot, him and I, about what he wanted to do next.
SHOCKED friends, family and fans have paid heartbreaking tributes to Liam as news of the singer's death circulated across the world.
Harry Styles’ mum Anne was among the first from One Direction’s camp to share her reaction, posting a photo of Liam and writing ‘Just a boy…’ alongside a broken heart emoji.
Britain’s Got Talent judge Amanda Holden shared an image of the pair together with the words: “Such an awful tragedy.
“Sending love to his family and all those who loved him.”
X Factor star Olly Murs told fans he was “devastated” and “lost for words”.
He wrote on social media: “Liam shared the same passions as me, the same dreams so to see his life now end so young hits hard, I’m truly gutted and devastated for his Family and of course his son Bear losing a dad x”.
Liam Gallagher said he was “very sad” and told his followers on X: “Life is precious Kids, you only get to do it once, go easy.”
Former X Factor presenter Dermot O’Leary has also expressed his shock and spoke on This Morning today.
He said: “I remember him as a 14 year old turning up to audition on The X Factor, and blowing us away singing Sinatra. He just loved to sing.
“He was always a joy, had time for everyone, polite, grateful, and was always humble.”
BBC Radio 2 presenter Zoe Ball reacted to the “devastating news” on her show today and told fans she hugged her own son Woody tight this morning.
JLS band member Marvin Humes reflected on his memories with the singer, sharing: “I first met Liam in 2008 with the JLS boys whilst auditioning for X Factor..he was 14 years old..
“We instantly clicked and looked at him as a little brother..that year it worked out for us but not for him and then 2 years later he went back to audition and One Direction was born..the rest is history..
“Absolutely heartbroken by the tragic news..Liam you wanted to be a global superstar and you did it bro..just can’t believe that things have ended this way..it’s shocking..my thoughts and prayers are with all your family and friends brother..RIP.”
Niall Horan’s brother Greg shared an emotional tribute to Liam, praising him as a “top young man”.
He added: “You will be forever missed. Liam, words can’t describe how much I want to grab my brother and mind him now while the world shows their memories of you and him and the boys.
“My heart goes out to your family parents and sisters and your son Bear and your 1D brothers.
“10th October we met and we started out that evening as 5 families into one big one 1D family thank you for all the laughs bro watch down on all your family and mind them lots of love kiddo x x x 1D 4 LIFE x x x”
German DJ Anton Zaslavski, otherwise known as Zedd, has taken to X with a devastated statement.
The producer, who worked with Liam on his 2017 hit Get Low, wrote: “RIP Liam… I can’t believe this is real…absolutely heartbreaking…”
American singer, Charlie Puth, who was friends with Liam and also collaborated with him on a song called Bedroom Floor, has posted a series of Instagram stories dedicated to him.
Alongside photos of the two of them together in their younger days, Charlie wrote: “I am in shock right now. Liam was always so kind to me.
“He was one of the first major artists I got to work with. I can not believe he is gone…
“I am so upset right now, may he rest in peace. I am so sorry…”
Irish singer duo Jedward also took to social media, saying: “RIP Liam Payne. Condolences to friends and family.”
In another tweet, they added: “Sending strength to Cheryl and his son Bear. And all the One direction Family. RIP Liam Payne.”
American media personality Paris Hilton shared: “So upsetting to hear the news of Liam Payne passing. Sending love and condolences to his family & loved ones. RIP my friend.”
ITV weather presenter Alex Beresford shared a news video about Liam’s tragic death on Instagram, adding: “Can’t believe this! RIP Liam.”
Meanwhile Love Island star Molly Marsh penned: “I’m so taken aback, rest in peace.”
But Simon admitted that he should have reached out to Liam and expressed interest in working with him as a solo artist.
He continued: “And I am guessing this because I haven’t spoken to Liam, but I guess he read about Harry’s deal and thought we weren’t interested.
“My impression was that he wasn’t in any hurry to make a record because he discussed this last year.
“He was more into songwriting and I was teasing him saying ‘if you come up with a great song Liam make sure it is for you and don’t give it away. When you’re ready, I am’.
You came to see me last year. Not for a meeting. Just to sit and talk. And we reminisced about all of the fun times we had together.
Simon Cowell
“So I was a bit surprised. You have to remember with Liam I auditioned him when he was 14 or 15 years old.
“He nearly made it as a solo artist, then he came back and ends up in One Direction.
“So of course, there is a part of you that goes ‘maybe we should have had the conversation’. That may be my fault but it has happened.”
Liam was was in Buenos Aires for pal and fellow 1D star Niall’s tour when he tragically plunged from the third floor on Wednesday afternoon.
Liam, who shared seven-year-old son Bear with ex Cheryl, shared a post on Snapchat only minutes before his death and showed him and his girlfriend Kate Cassidy looking into a mirror.
The singer-songwriter was staying at Hotel CasaSur in the neighbourhood of Palermo.
Crowds of heartbroken fans have now gathered behind a cordon outside the accommodation to pay tribute.
MAFS bride Sacha broke down in tears as she revealed two of the MAFS UK cast have been ‘sneakily kissing’ despite being married to others.
Sacha can be seen at one of the commitment ceremonies with her fellow brides and grooms in the teaser for upcoming episode.
The narrator says: “The impact of the retreat hits home,” and shocked faces can be seen around the room.
Couples can be seen on the sofa in tense chats discussing their relationships with the experts, and then the voiceover goes: “But it’s a shocking revelation that delivers the biggest blow of the evening.”
Lacey says: “Have they not been sneakily kissing,” while not sharing who she’s referencing.
The experts look shocked as Mel turns around and questions: “They’ve what?”
Sacha can be seen with her head in her hands as the drama unfolds, and in a later clip she says: “You’re talking f****** s***.”
Sacha is then seen breaking down in tears as her husband Ross attempts to comfort her.
The tears come after it was revealed this week that Hannah Norburn cheated on her husband Stephen Nolson – with another groom.
The 33-year-old had a secret affair with Orson Nurse, 41, behind his wife Richelle’s back – and the shock scenes are set to play out on screen.
Orson’s wife Richelle had let slip how something had happened – after she cruelly trolled by viewers for her behaviour towards Orson.
She accused Orson of trying to recouple with another bride, telling fans: “People will see the truth. It’s a waiting game.”
The bombshell is set to be revealed at the upcoming commitment ceremony and will leave the cast blindsided.
In another dramatic moment for the cast, binman Ryan Livesey will walk in the coming weeks, meaning his wife Sionainn Carmichael will also have to leave MAFS UK.
Loved-up Tayah Victoria and Adam Aveling of series six fame had the first Mafs baby.
The pair couldn’t keep their hands off each other on the programme and quickly found their feet in the outside world, moving into Adam’s Doncaster home.
Just 18 months after meeting, the couple welcomed their daughter Beau.
Season five couple Michelle Walder and Owen Jenkins also managed to make their marriage work away from the cameras and had their first child in December.
Teacher Michelle, 29, has no regrets about taking part in the experiment. She told us: “I just feel very lucky and thankful that it has worked out – and excited for everything to come.”
Michelle and Owen were both sick of dating apps when they applied in 2019.
Owen recalled: “I had been out for some drinks with a friend after work.
“While he was out for a cigarette I was scrolling on Instagram waiting for him to come back in.
“The MAFS advert was the last thing I saw, and I joked, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if I signed up?’
“A few beers later when I was back at home I sent in the application, and the rest is history.”
Another couple to make Mafs UK history is Zoe Clifton and Jenna Robinson.
Despite a slight rocky start, where they clashed over Jenna’s vegan lifestyle, the show’s first same sex pairing are still going strong.
They even have a successful podcast together called Life With a Pod.
Jenna shed light on being involved in the show earlier this year when she told us: “We’re not legally married, and I never felt like we were. I definitely feel the process makes you take the relationship a lot more seriously and having the help of the experts… if you can survive that process it sets a firm foundation for a long-lasting relationship.”
The former semi-pro footballer decides to walk after becoming embroiled in a second wife swap drama.
An insider says: “Ryan has been a real hit with viewers and they will be shocked to see what unfolds in the next few weeks.
“Fans will see a very different side to him and other people in the show.
“He could make a return later on down the line but he feels it is right to walk when he does.”
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