There’s something touching about the fact that the British public will see something as dry as a consultation on the future of the health service as an opportunity for a mass mickey-taking.
Today, the government launched a website asking for ideas on how the NHS might be improved – no doubt a very serious task.
After all, PM Keir Starmer and his health secretary Wes Streeting have called for nothing short of a complete reimagining of how the 76-year-old institution can continue to serve the UK.
But once it became clear that all the responses on the Change.nhs.uk site would be public, there was an inevitable avalanche of very silly proposals among the sincere ones.
Several of them focused on saving money. For example, two separate people suggested knocking off the redundant ‘National’ off the start of the health service’s name, thus saving both time and ink by making it simply the HS.
Another contributor said all doctors should be called Doctor Who: ‘It will save millions of pounds in name badges alone and all letters and emails can then be mass-produced so saves time as well!’
To help drive down hospital running costs, one responder said: ‘Harness the passive aggressive energy exuded by all GP receptionists and use it to power up to 50 per cent of the electricity needed by the NHS.’
Is the health service spending too much on procuring equipment? No problem, according to one contributor: ‘Keir Starmer’s dad to help make all the tools needed in the NHS.’
One surprising running theme in a number of responses was the pub chain Wetherspoons.
‘Install a Wetherspoons in every hospital to reduce rates of mental illness,’ went one suggestion.
Unfortunately, it looks like the proposal might not make it beyond the consultation stage.
Streeting wrote in a post on X: ‘Great idea, but sadly vetoed by the Chancellor during Budget negotiations.’
He added: ‘Thanks also to the person who suggested I be fired out of a cannon to raise money for the NHS. No.’
There was no such lack of enthusiasm from Lib Dem leader Sir Ed Davey, the House of Commons’ resident stunt performer, who quote-tweeted the health secretary to add: ‘Duty calls.’
Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.
For more stories like this, check our news page.
